Lt. Gen. (Retd) Mahmud Ahmed Akhtar
Life-Style Medicine
How technology created a recipe for loneliness while it helps connect us, it has forever changed communication norms. Over the summer, Laura Marciano, a researcher at the Harvard University, interviewed 500 teenagers for a continuing study investigating the link between technology and loneliness, the results were striking.
Lt. Gen. (R) Mahmud Ahmed Akhtar
For several weeks, the teenagers who were recruited with the help of Instagram influencers, answered a questionnaire three times a day about their social interactions. Each time, more than 50% said they had not spoken to anyone in the last hour, either in person or on line. Although, the teenagers were on break from school and spending plenty of time on social media apps, most of them were not socializing at all. Americans now spend more time alone, have fewer close friendships and feel more socially detached from their communities than they did 20 years ago. One in two adults reported experiencing loneliness and the physiological distress that endure from social isolation. The U.S Surgeon General, Dr Virk Murphy declared loneliness as an epidemic late last year.
Scholars and psychologists have accelerated research into whether technology is contributing. The rise of smartphones and social networking apps has forever changed social norms around how we communicate. More personable interactions like phone calls have been superseded by text messages. When people broadcast their lives on TikTok and Instagram, they may not be representing themselves in a genuine way. It is hard to know who is real online and it is hard for people to be themselves online and that is a recipe for loneliness, Dr Murphy said in an interview. He concluded that loneliness had become an epidemic after reviewing scientific studies and speaking with college students last year. He said I went down to a rabbit hole for a few months reading research papers and interviewing academics about tech and loneliness (many studies focused on how young people used technology but their conclusions were still relevant to old adults who used the same tech).
The consensus among scholars was clear while there was little proof that tech directly made people lonely (plenty of social connected, healthy people use lots of tech), there was a strong correlation between the two, meaning that those who reported feeling lonely might be using tech in unhealthy ways. On social media apps like Instagram mainly fell into the trap of comparing themselves with others and feeling that they were lagging behind peers. Text messaging by far the most popular form of digital communication, could be creating a barrier to authentic connection. Perhaps surprisingly, some people who felt lonely as exhibited addictive personalities, in this case, to streaming videos, that kept them indoors. Here’s what who know and what to do with your tech if you are feeling lonely.
Social Media Comparison
One of the most comprehensive research efforts on tech and loneliness to date, led by Dr Marciano and her colleagues, was a review that aggregated data from 30 studies, published during the coronavirus pandemic, exploring tech use and mental health of adolescents. Most studies found that social media was linked to loneliness, specifically when people made unfavorable comparisons between themselves and others online.
Online and offline, people make comparisons with others, a behavior psychologists call social comparison. Social comparison manifest in many different ways. One way could be counting the number of likes, comments and reshares that your posts get, compared with those of your friend. It could be comparing with the body of a beauty or fitness influencer. For parents, it could be monitoring your newborns development compared with other infants.
When people feel they are behind others in life, it can be isolating. Social comparisons are not always bad. In academic and work settings, for example many past studies have shown that comparing yourself with other high performers can motivate you to do high quality work. Solution is not simply to stop comparing ourselves with others online, said Chia-chen Yang, a professor of educational psychology at Oklahoma State University. Dr Yang led a study in 2018, surveyed nearly 2,020 college freshmen about what they liked and disliked when using apps like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. The study concluded that the interactions that caused the most distress were a comparison of a judgmental nature avoiding envy in which people viewed others as being more popular, having more fun or looking prettier.
Social media stirred up more positive feelings among students browsing, from people who shared useful information online. That could include a friend posting about getting a scholarship or a great deal on a used car, inspiring you to make a similar decision. I do not have to see other people as enemies. I can see them informants at my life, Dr Yang said. That type of comparison is not detrimental. But judgement comparisons, that induce envy and FOMO (Fear of missing out) may be more prominent on social media because the apps were designed to encourage people to compete with and seek validations (i.e. likes and shares) from their friends by publishing only the most glamorous facets of their lives.
Dr yang said she had interviewed students who deleted posts if they did not get a certain number of likes because it hurts their self-esteem, in response to their backlash from activists and researchers about the harms of social comparisons. Meta, which owns Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp added controls inside its app several years ago, including an option to hide the number of likes and shares from posts.
A meta spokeswoman referred to a blog post by Adam Mosseri, the head of Instagram, stating that reactions to hidden likes were mixed. “Not seeing like counts were beneficial for some and annoying to others, particularly because people use like accounts to get a sense of what is trending or popular, so we are giving you choice, Mr. Mosseri said. Instagram also has tool to favour accounts so that they surface at the top of your feet, which could be useful for focusing on the right people and accounts. But a more helpful step may be to do self-reflection. “If you feel bad about yourself browsing a lot of social media posts, maybe it is time to pause for a few hours or a few days”, Dr. Yang said.
Maybe We Text Too Much
Dozens of studies have found that one-on-one digital communication, including messaging, phone calls and video calls were associated with positive mental health effects including decreased feelings of loneliness. But an over-reliance on text messaging superseded phone calls as the most used communication. It could contribute to loneliness if people are not genuinely connecting to one another. It is difficult to imagine how people could sense vibes and authority through typed messages.
An overwhelming majority of teenagers communicate through text messaging and they have also reported feeling connected with others when they were on the same vibe. They also said that some text interactions, that a friend taking a long time to respond to a message, stoked anxieties and feeling of loneliness. In addition, very few teenagers, (about 2%) used video calls. Therein lies a potential problem. It is difficult to imagine how people could sense vibes and authenticity through typed messages, which lack the context and social cues of face-to-face contact.
How can you feel on the same frequency with someone who do not communicate properly? Lonelier people could shift to richer forms of communication instead of sending text message. Consider a video call or at a minimum, send a voice message, so that a friend can hear your voice. And by all means take advantage of the tools in social networking apps that help you meet others in persons.
Dr. Murphy, the Surgeon General lamented that tradition of wishing someone a happy birthday had devalued over a time from a phone call to face wall and now to this abbreviation “HBD” via a text message. “I cannot underscore how just powerful it is to have a few moments authentic interaction with someone where you can hear their voice and see their face. He said “there is tremendous benefit that comes to each of us to show up for each other”.
Binge Watching is not Helping
During the pandemic, researchers also homed in on whether binge watching or streaming shows back-to-back for long blocks of time, was linked to loneliness. All academic review of multiple studies connected with adults who binged programmes tended to experience depression, anxiety and to some extent loneliness.
Dr Mark Potenza, a Yale Professor and addiction expert who worked on the review, said that while binge watching studies focus on streaming apps like Netflix, it was important to note that other types of apps including TikTok and Instagram reels, encouraged a similar type of infinite viewing.
People with mental health problems may engage in binge watching as a coping mechanism. There are also consequences to physical health that can harm mental health, being sedentary for too long losing sleep and not giving out to engage with others. It consumes a lot of time. They may procrastinate and not address other concerns which may lead to more anxiety.
TikTok and Instagram reels include screen-time tools in their settings that show reminders, how much time you have spent in scrolling, though those tools can be ineffective because the reminders are easy to ignore. Netflix declined to comment. Spokes people for Meta and TikTok said their apps automatically limit screen-time for teenagers.
Looking Ahead
The relationship between technology and loneliness is a moving target because tech and its uses are constantly evolving, Emely Weinstein a social scientist, who has studied how teenagers use tech said that just as we begin to understand our relationship with our apps and devices, younger people find other ways to be anxious online and new outlets to cope with loneliness. A teenager may feel distressed if you commented with fewer fire emojis on their Instagram photo, she said and many are rapidly experimenting with chatbots using generative artificial intelligence that can replace human companies raising new concerns.
Teens are telling things like “That robot actually listens to me – people are mean and judge you but gen A.I tools do not” she said. “I am wondering what that is going to look like”. Dr Murphy said that during the cross-country tour at U.S college campuses last year, the dining halls were very quiet, as students busily typed on their phones.
He said a conversation with a student at the University of Washington resonated with him. He said, it is not culture for people to talk to each other anymore, so how are we supposed to connect? Dr Murphy recalled, “His point was that even when you are talking to class, everyone is occupied but then they are looking at their phones. It feels invasive to say hello to someone”.
