One fine morning, it suddenly dawned on me that I have turned eighty. Nobody sends me birth day card anymore. I am of course retired, but that was a long time ago, when I reached the age of superannuation, a comforting word for the retiree. I had no inclination of retiring at age 60, however, rules are rules. Every one retires at that age, so did I. Reluctantly. Before the D-day arrived I asked one of my older cousins, “What will I be in my retired life?” In a flippant mood he said,” Que sera sera, whatever will be will be”. But on a more serious note, he advised,” Of course, continue with your professional work. Set up a private clinic somewhere nice place. Doctors do not retire”. People always tell you that doctors do not retire as if they are doomed to continue to work until death. Many people also think that doctors do not become ill or they should not. People often remark, “How did you become ill you are a doctor!” In case a doctor does decide to embrace some serious affliction, he should do so while he is still at work in a hospital or at his clinic and preferably arrange his funeral from there. Dr. AR, a very busy GP died on the table while he was checking patient in his clinic. I know a busy gynecologist (they are extremely busy health professional as they have to cope with the very fertile ladies of our country), who was still at work at 4’clock in the morning operating on a patient. The poor soul did have some chest discomfort the day before but continued to deliver the baby. She was dead after few hours while still in the hospital.
Prof. Khwaja Ahmad Abbas
So after retiring from the government service, I took my cousins advice but instead of starting private practice, I took up a job- as a professor- in one of the many new medical colleges being set up, a lucrative business these days for the retired health professionals in Pakistan, and for other business entrepreneurs out to make a quick buck. As time passed, I was crossing seventy, still working as a professor in a private medical college. Pakistan Medical & Dental Council entered as a villain and declared all the teaching staff of the medical colleges redundant if they had crossed 70, for fear of their approaching dementia which had already afflicted many of the senile incumbents. I stood retired again.
More time passed. I got sick with a serious problem. Those who think that doctors do not get sick perhaps were disappointed. When I told my brother-in-law that I have cancer which was detected on routine lab tests, though I did not have any symptoms, he remarked that I should not have checked for cancer in the first place, and let nature take its course! I thought he was being callous and totally devoid of empathy. He was advising me to throw treatment out of the window, pray and wait for my death, Hallelujah!
Time was spent in travels abroad, visiting doctors and hospitals for getting treatment and spending my hard earned money on hospital and doctor’s fee. Since I thought my time had come, I lived abroad with children to be with them and spend time together as much as possible. Wife had already departed for her permanent abode.
More time passed. Lo and behold, I survived. My cancer had been cured!
I asked a friend of mine, older than myself, that we have had a reasonably good life. There is not much left to do and since we have no responsibilities or obligations left, it was time to go. He did not agree with me and said that this was the time to live and enjoy life with all the time and modern technology around us; and there is much more to come, so hang on old boy with whatever is left of your memory and mobility.
Now I am 80 years old. And if I am looking for a new life, after running away from the clutches of cancer, nobody should grudge. I’ve come back home and plan to live happily ever after, all by myself. When I was 8 years old I must have been asked, what would I be when I grow up, but nobody asks me now what would I do with myself when I am eighty. They think that by now I should know the answer which is to quietly wither away or teach street children some manners!!
I plan to do neither. There is a streak of life left in me so why not to make the best of it. Zindagee zinda dili ka naam hai. And I am pretty zinda dil! Let me share with you what the gurus tell me. This is free advice for those who are in the similar situation. Death is inevitable and if you are worried about the possibility of death any time soon, do not despair. Take Bhulle Shah’s advice. He says: Bhulle Shah, asaan marna naheen/ Gore peya koee hore. Which simply means that you will not die if you leave some legacy. If that does not appeal you, see what Ahmad Nadeem Qasmi says: Kaun kehta hai keh maut aayee tau marjaoonga/ Mein tau darya hoon samander mein ooter jaoonga. (Who says I am going to die upon my death? I am a river. I will quietly flow and become part of the ocean when I reach there). Beautiful thought provoking poetry but does not give you practical ideas about what to do with life after eighty. The tableeghis tell us to pray, seek forgiveness for our committed and uncommitted sins, meditate and exercise every morning with a touch of yoga if your body permits. Keep your bowels regular and if necessary with all bran porridge in breakfast every morning. Cut down on your tikkas and kebabs and add green leafy vegetables and fruits in your diet. With no sugar or sweets, very little salt and chilies and fewer calories, keep a check on your weight. Try to achieve the recommended 70 kg. These things are important to stay healthy at your age, if you are still committed to live long and have not given up.
When you think of it, why should one, at our age, take all that trouble when we have already come so far with whatever life style we practiced? If we practice whatever experts are telling us, our life would be miserable. Frankly I am not going to buy all that stuff. I love my ice cream.
So what is on offer to live well at my age. Of course there is TV. I have already watched enough of it and I am up to my nose with it. There is nothing more boring, monotonous and at times irritating than our TV programmes. I listen to headlines every morning from whatever channel is on, and that is all I can take for the whole day. I try to keep social contacts by visiting old friends. Like me, they have plenty to moan and groan. The conversation mostly revolves round creaking joints, poor heart, uncontrolled blood sugar and sleepless nights, hardly uplifting conversation. I return home feeling sad for them. Next day I decide to go to cinema. There is a surge of nostalgia for old romantic films in which hero and heroine would sing from their balcony a duet: awaz dey kahaan hey. Hard up for money, we would, as a teenager, take the first row that would cost four annas per seat. Alas, the romance is no more, now we have plenty of gory scenes of fights in the film. Bored, I leave half way in the film and go home.
Life still should have some charm, I try to convince myself. I continue doggedly to chase my dream of living meaningfully and happily after eighty. Once you look around and take interest in things, big and small, life can look interesting. The birds wake me up every morning with their melodious sounds. If you fancy bird watching, there is plenty of wilderness and trees to house a variety of birds. I am planning to buy a good binocular and some books about local birds. The lake near my house offers a panorama of beautiful imagery, one can spend afternoons just relaxing or if one gets more adventurous, go for fishing. The books, as before are always there to enthuse with ideas, stories and information. I listen to ‘ted’ talks on a daily basis and visit library whenever I get a chance, listen to classical and semi classical sub-continental music, visit friends and relatives more frequently, dabble in water colour painting and art off and on.
Things have happened most unexpectedly this year to me; my memoir, ‘Living in Clouds’ has been published this year after a long time. This has been received well. A brief review of the book was published in the section Books & Authors of the Dawn newspaper of 16th December, 2017. Then I have been awarded by the Japanese government, again when I had no inclination of it, for associating and collaborating with the Japan International Cooperating Agency on various projects for the last 25 years. This was purely a voluntary work. With a renewed passion and confidence, I am now thinking of writing another book!
So life is interesting and worth enjoying; and I intend to go on living after eighty.
